Hello Mama, and welcome to blog post NINE of Mumstoppable!

Hello Mama, and welcome! First, I get you’re busy, Mama. So let me tell you the top 3 reasons why investing 30 minutes in this episode/post is a game-changer for busy mums prioritising self-care, wellness, and mental health:

Unlock Mumstoppable Confidence:

• In just 30 minutes, discover practical tips and a step-by-step guide in #CoachingCorner to build your confidence. I’ll have you feeling Mumstoppable in no time!

Quick and Effective Mental Reset:

• Mama, I get it—time is precious. This episode offers a speedy mental reset tailored to your hectic schedule. Dive into the ABCs of Confidence Building and equip yourself with tools like the "20 seconds of insane courage" challenge. Feel the positive shift in your mindset, setting the tone for a more confident and fulfilled you.

Inspiration for Daily Life:

• Gain insights from real experiences shared in this episode. I open up about my journey from a shy girl to entrepreneur and podcast host, proving that anyone can overcome self-doubt and build confidence. Find inspiration for your own path, whether it's conquering public speaking fears, starting a new venture, or simply navigating the challenges of motherhood with resilience.

Ready to invest 30 minutes in yourself, Mama?

For those of you that want to listen - click below to play the podcast:

Otherwise, you can read this week’s show notes below:

Hello Mama! Welcome to blog post NINE of Mumstoppable! I’m so glad you’re here, thank you for committing to investing 30 mins a week just for you! And, guess what?! After what seems like 734 days of January… we made it to February!! YAY! And February is also “boost your self esteem month”! Which is PERFECT as this is one of the top challenges I see in mums who come to me for coaching. I’ve mentioned this before but often they are suffering from feeling utterly lost to motherhood, to the point they don’t know who they are anymore. And that leads to a complete lack of self esteem and confidence. And that’s why today we are going to focus on that C word… CONFIDENCE!

This is one of my absolute favourite topics, because it’s something I struggled with for such a long time when I was younger… When I was growing up I was constantly told I wasn’t confident enough, and that I needed to come out of my shell. This lack of self confidence went on into adulthood, where I tried to mask it with alcohol, and actually I don’t think I really understood what true confidence was until after I became a mother. I’ve spoken about this before but at that time I completely lost my identity to motherhood, and it took a long time to rediscover who I really was, outside of being “mum”. But when I rediscovered myself, and started to love myself again, I also started to think about the concept of confidence and what it means.

Now many of you will have heard of Mel Robbins. She is a phenomenal coach, I absolutely love her, and she has a brilliant definition of confidence. She basically says that confidence isn’t a feeling. It’s an action. She says it’s a willingness to TRY something before you feel ready.

Now this is just genius… because if you think about it, it’s completely true! Confidence is NOT a personality trait - we are not born with confidence. Which means it must be a skill, a competency which anyone can learn! And once you learn it, you never lose it!

And if you think about the notion of being willing to TRY before you are ready, what you’re saying is that you are risking failure. You’re willing to go out of your comfort zone and make a fool of yourself, or fail miserably at whatever it is, because you know whatever happens you will LEARN something. And when you try and fail and learn, you are building your knowledge and your experience in whatever it is you’re trying, and ultimately that contributes to your confidence in that activity!

To take that thinking a step further, confidence is NOT built in times of success… to quote Mel Robbins again, confidence is built in the fires of failure! It’s actually your ability to get back up, dust yourself off and get back on the horse to TRY again which builds confidence!

The other misconception of confidence is that confidence equals being loud, or extraverted. But confidence and bravado are two very different things. When you are confident, you have nothing to prove and so there is no need for bravado, and loudness. And this is why actually the most confident people are often the quietest people in the room, not the loudest.

Now to link this back, I often quote Beau Taplin, who writes that:

THAT’S what confidence is! Confidence and being Mumstoppable are one and the same! It’s about getting out of your comfort zone. It’s about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. It’s about being brave enough to TRY because you know that, even if you fail, you’ll be growing!

Do you see?

Now I have an example of this… I’ve told you that when I was younger I had almost zero confidence. I was seen as being shy and retiring, I would rarely raise my hand at school for fear of being wrong, the thought of speaking in front of a group of people filled me with fear… I cannot tell you how low my confidence was.

Fast forward to today - I am nearly 40 years old and I am still very much an introvert. I find social situations fun but exhausting, and often need to end the day by spending time on my own to replenish my energy. However, I LOVE public speaking. I love giving presentations to a room full of people. I love sharing my ideas with people. I love leading teams. I love it all! All these things that absolutely filled me with fear when I was younger are now within my comfort zone. I have built my confidence there, and I did that purely by daring to try! And I failed. I failed LOADS of times along the way. But each time, I learnt and I got better. And as I got better, I got more confident. And here we are.

And now I live my life by this rule of being Mumstoppable! That’s why this podcast exists! I decided one day in November last year that I wanted to do a podcast - not knowing ANYTHING about how to go about it. It could have been a flop. I might have had nobody tune in at all. I could have had people tune in and hate it. So much could have gone wrong. But I was willing to TRY and fail if needed, in order to grow. I accepted that things would inevitably go wrong. I know that even now, after 9 episodes, that my podcast isn’t perfect. But with each episode I write, record, edit, produce and market, I get better and my confidence grows.

So if this shy, wouldn’t say boo to a goose girl from a seaside town can go on to start her own business, learn to create and launch a podcast, design and build an app (more on this later!), and build Mumstoppable confidence, YOU can do hard things too, Mama! You can relearn the skill of confidence! And that’s what we’re going to do today. We’re going to get you set with 3 steps to  building Mumstoppable confidence.

And with that, let’s jump into #coaching corner, Mama. Because I want to get you one step closer (well, three actually!) to building that confidence.

Now I call this method the ABC of confidence building. Let’s start with A:

A is for… “ACT AS IF”

We’ve spoken about this before, Mama, but this is such an important skill, because first and foremost this is about taking action. And as we’ve said before, action changes things! Without action, nothing will change… you’ll be stuck in your comfort zone, you won’t be learning or growing, you’re stuck… In taking action, you are actively moving elsewhere. You’re likely moving out of your comfort zone and thus you are learning and growing as a person and in confidence.

But “acting as if” is more than that - it’s acting AS IF you have already achieved whatever it is you want to achieve. And there are two slightly different ways to do this. 

Firstly, if you like visualisation you could sit quietly, or sit and put on some music which inspires and motivates you (check out the Mumstoppable playlist on Spotify for inspiration!) and actively visualise yourself achieving your goals. Using my example of public speaking, I would sit and listen to my favourite motivational song and imagine myself on my way to a public speaking engagement. I would imagine the journey, parking up and getting out of my car. I’d make myself FEEL the nerves and excitement that come before a big speaking gig. I’d imagine going into the room and seeing all the chairs set out. Seeing people fill the room and take their seats. I’d see myself walking up onto the stage and giving my talk. I’d see people engaging with me positively. Smiling and writing notes and nodding along. I’d imagine the applause at the end of the talk, coming off stage and people coming up to me and telling me what a good job I’ve done. I’d see everything in a lot of detail. I’d make sure to notice things like what I am seeing, hearing and feeling. I’d use all of my senses within this visualisation to make sure it’s REALLY vivid. And I’d do this visualisation repeatedly over a few days. In the lead up to the real life event, I could play that same song in my car on the way there to get myself into the zone of success. And in all likelihood, because I am coming to this event from a place of confidence and success, it will be a success!

Now, visualisation is not for everyone so the other option is creating an alter ego for yourself, which can be REALLY fun! I’m sure you know this but Beyonce has an alter ego, Sasha Fierce, and she “becomes” Sasha when she is onstage. You can do this too, Mama! Create a super confident alter ego, and become HER when you need to. Channel your inner Sasha Fierce, and see what happens!

Okay that’s A over and done with, so let’s move on to B which is…

B is for BE WILLING TO TRY (and fail).

This is KEY to building confidence as it’s within that brilliant definition we talked about at the start. Confidence, at its core, is a willingness to TRY before you feel ready. So if you can really embody that mindset of being willing to give it a go, you’re there! You’re building confidence! Think about me and the podcast. I had no clue what I was doing. And yet I went for it. I went totally out of my comfort zone and just… did it! And along the way I made mistakes, I learnt from them, I got better and I built confidence! It works!

And now C… C is my favourite…

C is for COURAGE!

Building confidence needs you to be brave, be courageous! Find that courage deep inside you and grab hold of it. Let that courage override any feelings of self-doubt, and GO DO THE THING!

And that leads us beautifully into this week’s #coachingchallenge, Mama.

So, I recently watched one of my favourite feel-good movies… I Bought a Zoo. If you haven’t seen it, and you want something easy to watch and feel-good, then go watch it. It’s also based on a true story, which I love. 

In the movie, Matt Damon plays Benjamin Mee, a journalist widower with two kids who starts a new life by buying a run-down zoo. I won’t give it all away but there is a scene in there in which he is talking with his son and says:

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”

And he is SO right. But, I realise that’s easier said than done, which is why I have a gorgeous little tool that you can also teach to your kids, which will help you find your courage. And it’s this… next time you’re afraid of trying something, and the self-doubt creeps in, I want you to acknowledge it and IMMEDIATELY I want you to start counting down from 10. And that simple act of counting down from 10 means you have decided you’ve felt the fear, but you’re going to do it anyway. It means you are going to ACT! It means you’re willing to make the leap, to put yourself out there, to try something despite the risk of failure.

And when you get from 10 to 1, you’re going to DO THE THING, Mama. You’re going to do the hard thing. And you might fail! You might embarrass yourself! You might mess up! But you know what? You’ll have done something amazing. You’ll have tried something. You’ll have learnt. And you’ll be a step closer to being confident in that thing.

Give it a go, Mama, and let me know how you get on by emailing me at [email protected]

I cannot wait to hear how you get on!

Now, before you go I want to tell you about another hard thing I am willing to try, Mama… I am building you a mobile app! It’s going to be your one-stop shop to all things Mumstoppable, wherever and whenever you need it.

So, If you've enjoyed the Mumstoppable® podcast but want more; if you're intrigued by how coaching could help you rediscover yourself or help you grow your confidence; if you long to feel seen and heard outside of being just "mum" but aren't sure where to start... the Mumstoppable® app is for you.

I've created this app to turn the world of coaching on its head. I know how hard it is being Mum (and often losing yourself in the process). I also know how damn life changing coaching can be, but I also acknowledge that 1:1 coaching isn't an option for a lot of mums. It is often expensive, you have to commit to regular time slots, and it's ANOTHER thing to add to your list.

By combining my love of technology (I had a long and happy career in videogames) with my passion for coaching mums to help them find themselves again, I have designed and created a mobile app that brings you expert coaching support at your fingertips. It's built so you can dip in and out of the content as and when you need to with no need to book regular slots, or even commit to watching videos. In fact, most of the content is audio based so you can dip in and listen whilst you're busy doing all the other things on your to-do list, whilst still making time to work on you!

Using my bespoke Mumstoppable® Method, I'll support you to rediscover your pre-mum sparkle by:

⚡ Asking you to commit to just 30 minutes per week... and that's broken down into chunks for you to complete whenever you can

⚡ Giving you access to expert guided coaching sessions, tools and techniques to help you rediscover who you are behind the "mum mask" (and for those of you familiar with the podcast, we'll be visiting #coachingcorner and I'll be setting a coaching challenge each week!)

⚡ Monthly group coaching sessions to keep you on track

⚡ Membership to the Mumstoppable® community, where you can connect to other mums

When the app launches in March, I'll be looking for a group of founding members who will get access to:

⚡ Access to my signature course, "12 weeks to a Mumstoppable You", which is designed around 3 core pillars: clarity, connection and commitment. Each week I'll ask you to commit to spending just 30 mins in total (and you have the flexibility of being able to dip in and out of the content across the week) working through bite-sized audio lessons. These will allow you to: get clarity on who you are, connect with yourself and others, and commit to a future of feeling Mumstoppable. You will also have the option of completing worksheets within the app (to save you having to dash to find a pen and paper!).

⚡ BONUS 1: monthly group coaching calls to keep you on track

⚡ BONUS 2: daily affirmations to help you shift your perspective and start to love yourself again

⚡ BONUS 3: access to the Mumstoppable community where you can connect with other mums, stay accountable and ensure long-term results

⚡ BONUS 4: access all of the above via the Mumstoppable mobile app, so that you can get all the support you need whenever and wherever you need it

⚡ BONUS 5: access to new content and challenges once the 12 week course has ended, continued access to the Mumstoppable community and monthly group coaching calls

I'm SO excited to bring this support to you, Mama! If you're as excited as I am, click here and pop your details in the box to sign up to the waitlist and be the first to find out how to sign up to become a founding member when we launch in March 2024!

I really hope to see you there!

That brings us to the end of this week’s blog! Thank you once again for joining me, and well done for spending the last 30 mins doing something just for you! 

Enjoy working through this week’s coaching corner tips, and as always, I would LOVE to hear how you’re getting on with the coaching challenge, so please feel free to send me a quick email at [email protected] or find me on Instagram at @mumstoppable_ and send me a DM or leave a comment on one of my posts. 

You will also be able to find reminders of the coaching corner tips and details of the coaching challenge on Instagram towards the end of the week.

Over the coming weeks I’ll be talking to you about challenges facing mums ranging from feeling lost and like you don’t know who you are anymore, to surviving overwhelm as a mum, to motherhood and the strains that puts on your relationships, to the struggle of returning to work. Please also feel free to email me with any challenges you’re facing which you’d like me to cover off on upcoming sessions.

If you’ve liked what you’ve read today, please do sign up to my newsletter by clicking the side bar on the left. As a thank you for signing up, you can choose to receive my FREE Self-Love Journal, which is full of gorgeous self-love exercises and a 14 day journal template for you to print and fill out. 

And more importantly, by signing up, you’re guaranteeing you’ll never miss a blog post (or Podcast episode!) as they will land directly in your inbox every Monday morning.

For now, though, have an awesome week, and remember:

I see you, Mama. 

You’ve got this. 

You are Mumstoppable!