Hello Mama, and welcome! First, I get you’re busy, Mama. So let me tell you the top 3 reasons why you should spend 30 minutes of their precious time reading this episode:

⚡ Discover Instant Happiness: 

• In just 30 minutes, you'll uncover the secrets to finding instant happiness in your daily life. No need to wait for big milestones or life-changing events—learn practical tips to cultivate joy in the small moments, even amidst the chaos of motherhood.

⚡ Elevate Your Mental Wellness: 

• As a busy mum, your mental health and well-being are paramount. This episode offers valuable insights and strategies to prioritise your mental wellness, helping you navigate the ups and downs of parenthood with grace and resilience.

⚡ Transform Your Daily Routine: 

• Say goodbye to mundane routines and hello to a life filled with purpose and intention. By implementing the lessons from this episode, you'll learn how to infuse joy into everyday tasks, making even the simplest moments feel meaningful and fulfilling.

Ready to invest 30 minutes in yourself?

For those of you that want to listen - click below to play the podcast:

Otherwise, you can read this week’s show notes below:

Hello Mama! Welcome to this week’s episode of Mumstoppable! I am so glad you’re here and I’m so honoured that you’ve made the choice to spend 30 minutes with me in this journey of self-rediscovery.

This week I want to talk to you about happiness… We’re going to think about what happiness is (and what it isn’t). And, crucially, I’m going to give you the secret to being happier… instantly! How cool is that?!

Okay so before we begin, I want to tell you about my experiences with happiness. I would consider myself to be a fairly balanced person. I don’t tend to feel extreme emotions. It takes a lot to get me very riled up and angry, and similarly I don’t tend to get super sad or ridiculously happy very often. That’s not to say there haven’t been times in my life when I’ve felt really low, by the way. I do get “down” days where I am a bit tearful, for example, and of course there are moments when I get super angry (generally when something unjust is happening to someone), but generally speaking I’m fairly balanced and can regulate my emotions.

However, when I was younger, I did suffer a bit from “longing to be happy”. I would daydream that I’d be happy when… I’d have the perfect job or when… I’d have the perfect partner, or when… I would have kids. When I had all these things I thought I would just “BE” happy. All the time. 

And of course, getting married was amazing, and having kids has brought me moments of joy, as well as moments of despair. But once I’d had my dream job, and I’d gotten married to the perfect guy in my favourite place in the world, and had two amazing, healthy kids, I still didn’t feel that state of euphoria…. And that’s when I started questioning the idea of happiness…

And it’s only been in recent years that I think I’ve finally gotten to the bottom of it, through my work with coaching and also with all the self-development work I do on myself. And the truth is, Mama, that happiness isn’t a constant state of euphoria. It’s not a state at all! Because as humans we are not built for that…

If you think back to last week’s episode where we talked about emotions, you’ll remember we talked about the fact that emotions are important. Even the uncomfortable emotions are there for a reason. Fear warns us of imminent danger, for example. Pain is a similar one, warning us that something is wrong. Now imagine if early man (or woman) was in a constant state of euphoria… They’d have been wiped out almost immediately, right?! And that’s because we as humans are not meant to feel happy all the time.

That’s the bad news, Mama, but there is some good news… and that is that we can have a happy and fulfilling life, but still experience the full range of emotions on the spectrum. And the other good news is that just like I told you last week that you can control your emotions, you can also decide to be happier. It’s a choice YOU can make. Because happiness is an inside job. It comes from within you. Only YOU can decide to be happy - nobody else can do that for you. That’s why different things make different people happy, right?

So the first lesson here is you cannot chase “happy”... You have to break the cycle of thinking “I’ll be happy when…” because happiness doesn’t work like that. Instead what we should ALL be doing is chasing MOMENTS OF HAPPINESS. By that I mean we should be focusing on today - on the here and now. We should be asking, “how can I get lots of moments of joy today”, because these moments of joy are scientifically proven to make you happier!

So the key is finding joy in the SMALL moments, and then allowing ourselves to have other emotions in between. Kids are really good at this, right, because for example I can give my 8 year old an old cardboard box which I see as rubbish, and he will go and make it into a robot and find SO much joy in doing it, and in showing us all. Babies also are great at finding joy in things like… milk! Toddlers have SO many emotions, but they can find utter joy in banging two saucepans together!

The problem is that as we get older, we lose that sense of playfulness. We stop prioritising moments of joy, and that’s when our overall happiness starts to dip. And we start chasing the idea of being “happy”, whether that’s through things like alcohol (that was certainly what I did for a while) or through a dream about being happy “when”...

So as adults, we need to teach ourselves to start finding joy in the small things again. And the second you find a moment to experience joy in… you’re happier. In an instant! Therefore increasing the FREQUENCY with which you’re experiencing small moments of joy throughout your day will make you an overall happier person, Mama!

And as if that’s not good news enough, I have more good news for you… happiness is contagious! When you’re happier, the people around you notice and are happier. So by working on making yourself happier, you’ll be automatically making your kids happier too. How fabulous is that, Mama?!

Okay that brings us to coaching corner, where we get to put all this wonderful learning into practice. Because it’s all well and good me telling you that the key to making you happier instantly is to find moments of joy in your day, but what does that really mean? And how can you do it today, amongst all the other stuff you need to do, Mama?

Well first I don’t want to be adding to your already busy schedule, so the key is to look for moments that are already happening in your day, and then looking at how we can amplify them to find joy. So… one of my favourite ones is my morning cup of coffee… this for me is a non-negotiable daily need. Without it I feel a bit out of sorts and snappy and my day just gets off to a bad start. So I could just make a coffee and drink it as I’m going about my morning, getting the kids ready for school, listening to them read, helping with homework and waving them off… without even really tasting the thing. OR I could get up 30 minutes before the kids do, and really make the act of drinking my coffee an intentional act. I could listen to the sound of the water boiling. I could smell the aroma of the coffee brewing before I even pour it. I could take time to notice the feeling of the hot cup in my hands. I could really take a moment to savour that first sip, tasting the deliciousness of the roasty flavour. And in those few small moments… I’ve found joy. And I’m happier. Do you see?!

Let’s do another one… a shower! So here you could hop in the shower, have a quick scrub, hop out and get dry and move on with your day. I’m guessing that’s how most of us mums shower, right? Actually I missed out the part where the kids barge in to ask for a snack, when their dad is in the kitchen… does that happen to anyone else?!

Anyway, OR you could choose to find joy in our shower. You could turn the heat RIGHT up just before you get in, and enjoy the feeling of the hot steam on your face. You could get in and just stand there for a moment, feeling the heat and the pressure of the water on your shoulders and enjoying the sensations. You could choose your favourite shower gel or soap, lather it right up in your hands and enjoy the sensation of all the bubbles. You could look at the bubbles really closely and notice how each bubble is a different size and how they all glisten in the light. You could take a big sniff of the bubbles and really enjoy the gorgeous scent. 

This is literally in the space of 5 minutes, Mama, and can you see how even the description is a complete U-turn from the first description?! And nothing has really changed, right? You’re having the same shower… you’re just choosing to experience joy in the second example by making the small moments count. It’s about living your day to day life with intent. Living consciously.

And there are countless examples of other places you could do this throughout your day. Enjoy how your food tastes! Enjoy the feel of your dog’s fur when you stroke it. The feel of the sun on your face when you’re on the school run. Notice how a hug with your kids makes you FEEL. Spend 5 mins PLAYING with your child, with no devices, and really LISTEN to them! 

Because it’s in these small moments that you will experience joy. And when you’ve found these moments, and can make sure you experience them more frequently, you will become instantly happier.

And that puts us nicely in the right place for our #coachingchallenge, Mama! This week I want you to make a real effort to ENJOY the small moments throughout your day. Really use all your senses, and take a couple of extra minutes to really notice things. And then notice how you feel afterwards… I’m expecting you to feel calmer, more balanced, more joyful and… happier!

And because I am a SUPER kind coach, Mama, I’m also going to give you an extra tool to help you do this. It’s one of my favourite tools and I’ve spoken about it on my Instagram before (@mumstoppable_ because someone else has my handle - rude!). I love it as a grounding technique, which is something I mentioned in the last episode, so I’ve used it throughout my recent life to help when I start to feel anxious or panicked, as well as when I feel overwhelmed or wrapped up in life, or too “in my own head” and when I want to come back to the present moment. I love it SO much that I bought a keyring from a FABULOUS small business called Sugar and Sloth, which has cute characters on and which reminds me of the steps.

The technique is called 54321… catchy right?! And the premise is really simple… When using it as a grounding technique you follow these steps:

Take a deep breath… Look around you and name:

• 5 things (in your head or out loud) that you can see:

• 4 things you can touch

• 3 things you can hear

• 2 things you can smell and

• 1 thing you can taste

That’s it… it’s SO flipping simple and yet SO effective. I probably use it at least every other day just to ground myself and get back into the present moment.

And because it’s such a sensual activity, it can also help you get into the moment that’s happening right now and experience JOY! There’s also another cool way you can use it though, and that’s as a recap on positive things that have happened throughout your day - to help you find the small moments of joy that you might have missed. To do this, follow the same 54321 steps but use them to reflect on your day so far.

For example, for me I saw a beautiful sunrise when I opened the curtains this morning, I saw a really unusual low cloud formation across the hills on my dog walk, I noticed the way raindrops were dripping off the tree branches and I saw a HUGE smile on my son’s face because he was SO excited about his school trip today. Etc etc. And just the small act of me recalling those moments which, at the time just passed me by, has honestly brought a smile to my face! 

And THAT’s how, by doing just one thing, you can be happier, instantly, Mama!

Now, before you go I want to tell you about another thing that will make you happier, Mama… I am building you a mobile app! It’s going to be your one-stop shop to all things Mumstoppable, wherever and whenever you need it.

So, If you've enjoyed the Mumstoppable® podcast but want more; if you're intrigued by how coaching could help you rediscover yourself or help you grow your confidence; if you long to feel seen and heard outside of being just "mum" but aren't sure where to start... the Mumstoppable® app is for you.

I've created this app to turn the world of coaching on its head. I know how hard it is being Mum (and often losing yourself in the process). I also know how damn life changing coaching can be, but I also acknowledge that 1:1 coaching isn't an option for a lot of mums. It is often expensive, you have to commit to regular time slots, and it's ANOTHER thing to add to your list.

By combining my love of technology (I had a long and happy career in videogames) with my passion for coaching mums to help them find themselves again, I have designed and created a mobile app that brings you expert coaching support at your fingertips. It's built so you can dip in and out of the content as and when you need to with no need to book regular slots, or even commit to watching videos. In fact, most of the content is audio based so you can dip in and listen whilst you're busy doing all the other things on your to-do list, whilst still making time to work on you!

Using my bespoke Mumstoppable® Method, I'll support you to rediscover your pre-mum sparkle by:

⚡ Asking you to commit to just 30 minutes per week... and that's broken down into chunks for you to complete whenever you can

⚡ Giving you access to expert guided coaching sessions, tools and techniques to help you rediscover who you are behind the "mum mask" (and for those of you familiar with the podcast, we'll be visiting #coachingcorner and I'll be setting a coaching challenge each week!)

⚡ Monthly group coaching sessions to keep you on track

⚡ Membership to the Mumstoppable® community, where you can connect to other mums

When the app launches in March, I'll be looking for a group of founding members who will get access to:

⚡ Access to my signature course, "12 weeks to a Mumstoppable You", which is designed around 3 core pillars: clarity, connection and commitment. Each week I'll ask you to commit to spending just 30 mins in total (and you have the flexibility of being able to dip in and out of the content across the week) working through bite-sized audio lessons. These will allow you to: get clarity on who you are, connect with yourself and others, and commit to a future of feeling Mumstoppable. You will also have the option of completing worksheets within the app (to save you having to dash to find a pen and paper!).

⚡ BONUS 1: monthly group coaching calls to keep you on track

⚡ BONUS 2: daily affirmations to help you shift your perspective and start to love yourself again

⚡ BONUS 3: access to the Mumstoppable community where you can connect with other mums, stay accountable and ensure long-term results

⚡ BONUS 4: access all of the above via the Mumstoppable mobile app, so that you can get all the support you need whenever and wherever you need it

⚡ BONUS 5: access to new content and challenges once the 12 week course has ended, continued access to the Mumstoppable community and monthly group coaching calls

I'm SO excited to bring this support to you, Mama! If you're as excited as I am, click here and pop your details in the box to sign up to the waitlist and be the first to find out how to sign up to become a founding member when we launch in March 2024!

I really hope to see you there!

That brings us to the end of this week’s blog! Thank you once again for joining me, and well done for spending the last 30 mins doing something just for you! 

Enjoy working through this week’s coaching corner tips, and as always, I would LOVE to hear how you’re getting on with the coaching challenge, so please feel free to send me a quick email at [email protected] or find me on Instagram at @mumstoppable_ and send me a DM or leave a comment on one of my posts. 

You will also be able to find reminders of the coaching corner tips and details of the coaching challenge on Instagram towards the end of the week.

Over the coming weeks I’ll be talking to you about challenges facing mums ranging from feeling lost and like you don’t know who you are anymore, to surviving overwhelm as a mum, to motherhood and the strains that puts on your relationships, to the struggle of returning to work. Please also feel free to email me with any challenges you’re facing which you’d like me to cover off on upcoming sessions.

If you’ve liked what you’ve read today, please do sign up to my newsletter by clicking the side bar on the left. As a thank you for signing up, you can choose to receive my FREE Self-Love Journal, which is full of gorgeous self-love exercises and a 14 day journal template for you to print and fill out. 

And more importantly, by signing up, you’re guaranteeing you’ll never miss a blog post (or Podcast episode!) as they will land directly in your inbox every Monday morning.

For now, though, have an awesome week, and remember:

I see you, Mama. 

You’ve got this. 

You are Mumstoppable!